Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in lydia_sorrow's LiveJournal:

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Monday, November 7th, 2005
11:44 am	MaStUrBaTiOn I'm in college right now with my liberty spikes up and I got lots of flirty comments...mostly from silly little emo girls. I only have eyes for one emo girl and she DAMN WELL better know who she is soon or I'm gonna go crazy. I don't love her on account of never speaking to her in my life but I thought about her last night in the shower... I remember when heva used to be my mate until she got all...like that. I knew she would. I was never pretty enought for her despite wanting her like fuck. She knew it too... There was that one night when I made out with her, but that...felt...wrong...in that she didn't want it. I could tell. Now she's so surrounded by beautiful people (apart from the girl we call toppy.) I don't know why she likes toppy so much. I think she never thinks of me anymore, she was the girl in between how my first girlfriend fucked me up and how HaYlEy fucked me up. Now suddenly I start realising that she fucked me up almost as bad. If she reads this she'll only think that I'm jealous of her which I never was. Never jealous. I made out with James twice at the party and that was wrongness cause he's like...the opposite of my type. I'm married now...I'm married and I have 4 girlfriends. There are only two girls I want in this world though and the 4 girls I have aren't any of them. DAMN I FEEL SO FUCKED UP... I want the emo girl. I want her more than ever. Everytime I see her on the train with her perfect little breasts and her perfect little ass. Primping herself... And Heva... I want her still, but less and less every time I see her with toppy. Less every time I read her profile and see how she's become. She was flawless. Perfection. And now look... Look what she's doing to herself. Inside, SHE'S BROKEN. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 27th, 2005
2:22 pm	college I'm in college right now and I havn't updated for so long so. Ok. SEB Me and seb are getting married on the 31st of october (tee hee, we're so lame). We've been through so much now! I love him more every day (if possible). We saw Chelsea Vs Aston Villa on saturday and it was Sebs first ever match. We both got drunk with my dad and little brother and some south london blokes. It ruled! He's doing fine arts a t college and I'm so proud of him. He's so smart, lol. PAUL Paul is still a very good friend and he got even prettier lately. Blonde to brown to blonde to pink, make-up, no make-up, piercing and more what not. PHITT. He's spiffier than ever! We still go round his house a lot and up town... not much to report. UnSpAnKaDeLiC aMy is gone now. Don't like her. Paul got over her so fast it was funny. Ha ha. I LAUGH! OH HOW I DO LAUGH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *cough* sorry. ADAM He was apparently annoyed because I wrote about him on here. Hmmz...the thing that annoyed me the most about him lately were his messages on myspace. We were talking and he said things like 'what you did to me' etc. What I did to HIM? okaaay... and also he said something to the effect of 'if you want to talk, this is my e-mail address *puts his e-mail which had something about emo in it*' and added something like 'oh and knowing you'll probably come out with something about fuck emo or something...' I was really confused. Why would I care if he's emo or not. I don't know if he is emo or not. He might be, he might not be, but either way it matters not to me I can assure you. Like I would go on MSN just to insult emo to him. COLLEGE PEOPLE New people I have knowledge of are a few girls in Seb's class (me no likey) and a few guys and girls in my class (me likey a little). Cannot think of anything else... bored poopless in college at the moment. OOOOOOoooooooooOOOOOOOoooo Here's Seb!!! XxXxX Lydia XxXxX (Comment on this)
Sunday, March 13th, 2005
5:13 pm	"A sore throat because of the 'Who can sing the loudest? This room or that room?' contests." Just a note: We so won that contest. One more thing...I remember singing 'yellow submarine' by the beatles really loudly with PAUL and AIMEE... (Comment on this)
1:58 pm	Woke up with a MAMOTH headache this morning and a sore throat because of the 'Who can sing the loudest? This room or that room?' contests. I have all-american-rejects in my head...my voice is pretty fucked right now. I can't talk very loud. My arm hurts really badly cause frankie hit me where I had cuts. I think I'm okay as far as kissing and that goes. I may or may not have kissed PAUL and AIMEE but they're my mates so it's allowed. And you know I don't mean proper kissing...I don't think. Anywho...awesome party. I'm glad I went. I hope AIMEE and PAUL can stay over at my house on saturday. We are finally all going to see spongebob squarepants the movie on saturday I think. Then I hope we are going back to mine for alcohol and ice cream. We are so lame. Adam kept looking at me out of the corner of his eyes like he does in school and I'm pretty sure he smiled at me slightly. I dunno whether it was a 'hi' smile or an 'I'm sorry' smile or a 'let's be mates' smile or a 'in your face, I dumped you' smile. Either way I don't care. I did get jealous of Annem and him though which is stupid. Fact: You don't want your ex, but you don't want anyone else to have them either. That sucks though. I don't get jealous over Jason and Gemma because I never loved Jason. I think I've been in love four times. Tom, Adam, Petar and Seb. That's what I've worked out were the people I'll never lose feeling for no matter what. I'll never lose feelings for Tom and it'll never stop hurting, but I think he would be happy that I'm with someone finally who treats me like a human being. PAUL just asked me why I loved him. That's never happened before. Here: (13 days) says: why do i love you? Paul says: Yeah. (13 days) says: Because you're friendly, nice, super fun, I like the your outlook on stuff, I like being around you, you are into a lot of the same things as me, you're hilarious, you always talk to me, you dont get mad at me even though im a stupid idiot, plus you're pretty. (13 days) says: theres probably more but im tired (13 days) says: you're smart too Lol. It was a half-assed answer wasn't it? I should really wake up this morning. I love AIMEE for the same reasons though. It's weird. I love Seb because of those reasons and A LOT more reasons than that. He's special. I've never met anyone like him. I've written a lot. I should shut up for a while. *eats strepsil* XxXxX Queen Of Ice XxXxX (Comment on this)
12:38 am	Okay... Went to meet AIMEE, PAUL, chloe and annem outside the library cause rachel didn't come. *growl* Annem was VERY late so we just bummed around town from 12:00 til 3:15 and then saw the movie (constantine) In the AWESOME comic book store the comic book guy gave me his MSN address! YAY! Also he said he's going to order me some Lenore JUST FOR ME! And crow stuff for me and AIMEE too! He was so nice. He's like...GOD. We also saw Russel and his little friends. There was a random called Johnas well who we stalked a little because he was pretty. Me, AIMEE and PAUL were talking about this boy calling him emo and he just walked up to me and AIMEE and goes "hi. I dont know you." Then we started talking. Me and AIMEE decided he was totally fuckable...but he made me miss Seb because he's prettier ^_^ Then AIMEE was all "come to Adam wallace's party" so I did. It was hilarious because no one told Adam (the ex) that I was coming and he was aparantly really pissed off. He kept staring at me it was creepy. Even though he claims he's emo, he turned over every emo song we put on and started moshing and doing air guitar to Sum 41 and...GREEN DAY! Even though I have him on camera saying that green day are the worst band in the world and that he hates them. Can he spell hypocrite? Adam wallace was SO drunk. He lost his glasses for AGES. His girlfriend is a stupid 13 year old bitch for giving me a headache. I don't know why I got so upset...actually I do. It was cause Annem and rachel and PAUL all hugged adam (the ex) in a group hug and were all laughing with him. I was SO jealous of adam. The AIMEE and PAUL came over and were like "I love you so much. you're the best ever!" and everything. I was like "you guys like adam more than me" and I almost cried cause I was drunk. God I am so pissed right now... I fell over dancing and twice at pauls and twice here. I cant see properly. Ive had no food and just alcohol... I'm suprised I can still type actually. I kept chugging everyones beer as soon as they put it down. mmm bud...I kept texting Will and he's still texting me but I have no credit :( I wanted him to come. I had a few emo moments...I remember sitting in several corners on my own or with adams cat. I remember DOGPILES! I remember boys...lots and lots of boys...and AIMEE was all...yeah. I can't remember what I was going to say. I don't like frankie anymore (not that I ever did). I kept thinking "I really hope Seb's online when I get home" but he isn't. *cries* Curse my partying... *texts Seb* I'll probably remember more in the morning. I hope I didn't do anything stupid like last time I was drunk. I seem to remember a lot of faces that I can't put names to and vice versa... XxXxX Spanky XxXxX (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 10th, 2005
4:47 pm	HE'S BACK!!!!!! *backflip* I can't believe it! My LORD AND MASTER has returned! I'm so happy! I get to serve again! *glances at shrine* Looky! Originally posted by AngelOfAids: I'm feeling better and back again. It does kinda' feel like being new though since it's alot different than how it was when I left. =P I hope you've thought of me. Originally posted by Lydia_Sorrow: *doesnt say anything* *everyone looks at me cause im dancing with my eyes shut singing very loudly* "CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES...COME ON!" *jumps around* Can I have a cookie master? pwease? Originally posted by AngelOfAids: Good to see my angelic presence has a positive effect on you, though slightly psychotic. *Throws you a cookie* Originally posted by Lydia_Sorrow: That's me! Slightly psychotic! *hides cookie with collection of things I stole from your trash can* <.< >.> <.< *runs away* *sings* "HES BACK! HES BACK! MY LORD AND MASTER! HES BACK! HES BACK! MY FRIEND AND IDOL! HES BACK! HES BACK! MY GOD AND MENTOR!...." (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 8th, 2005
3:25 pm	I emptied my bag today and found these sheets of paper.. I don't know when I wrote them but it was some point today. I don't remember writing them. There is a list of names and comments under them, a letter to seb and a strange list of people I love. Here they are: WILL Hanging on your words, living on your breath, feeling with your skin. I'll give it all I can. Is it enough? To keep you in my hands? Or should I give up? I don't understand... CHESTER You've dissapeared again. Come find me. Explain to me. Help Matt. What's wrong with him? Where's Phoebe? D's not coming is he? D When I call and you don't come I don't know what I should do. Should I call? Should I even count on you? MATT I can't help giving up. If you're despairing then there's no hope. No hope for me at all. MARIA You are supposed to be there for me. Why are someone else's guardians here for me when you never are? Busy...? Well, I hope you're happy. RAVEN I don't know what you want. I think you want Tom. You know that's impossible. Accept it. I have. Seb is everything Tom was to us. Give him a chance. Please? Leave people alone...? PAUL I'm sorry you met her. It should say GUILTY X4 really. She isn't me. I never wanted to be mean to you. It was her. You'll think I'm a freak if I ever tell you. Maybe one day you'll understand. I hope so. I'm sorry. ADAM I don't know why you hate me. Only you know if what you tell people is honest or not. I hope you're happy...really I do. "You don't know how sick you make me. You make me fucking sick to my stomach, everytime I think of you, I vomit." You make me sick...you make me nervous. DEVON How are you sweetie? You tell me if she says anything to you. Don't believe her. You know I love you. Be strong little one. I know we don't talk anymore. This school thing is hard for you too. You like Will more than Seb don't you? I know you miss Chrissy. SEB Dead inside...nothing to hide. That's how I am. Guilty X2. Just Will and you. Plus Matt...why is it easier for me to tell Will? Do you ever understand and believe me when I talk? Do you listen? Do you love me? I love you. In answer to your question - yes. Murin beatha dan. --------------------------------------------------------------- I love you: Seb, Will, Paul, Aimee, Mum, Dan, Genny, Bill, Chris, Jason, Jason, David, Will, Jake, Dom, Devon, Chester, Matt, D, Tom, Scott, Chris, Rob, Phil, John, Aniqah, John, Zackia, everyone I missed like Heva. Devon loves you: Judy, Raven, Chris, Dan, Seb, Will, Jake, Will, Paul, Aimee, Mum, Jason, Graeme, Scott, Allen, Jake, Alex, Emma, Ben and everyone fun! Raven loves you: Tom, Alex, Nick, Joey, Brian, Tom, Katy, Lisa, Sarah, Scott, Ben, Dan, Scott and everyone who makes her life hell. --------------------------------------------------------------- Seba, Thankyou for not getting angry. For putting up with my mood swings. For caring about me. For being my friend. For trying to understand me. For trying to be here for me. For loving me. For showing me kindness. For trusting me. For taking the time to explain things to me. For listening to me. For not judging me. For thinking of me. For missing me. For coming to see me. For laughing with me. For sharing things with me. For hugging me. For making me love you. For making me feel like I'm worth something. For helping me. For kissing me. For letting me love you. For comforting me. For making me feel safe, loved, wanted and needed. For making me feel SANE. For making me feel pretty. For talking to me. FOR NOT LEAVING. For letting me look at you. For letting me touch you. For letting me kiss you. For showing that you worry. For getting jealous of Paul. For writing to me. For talking to me on MSN. For letting me see you on webcam. For sending me lovely smilies. For texting me. For the private messages on MMDN. For reading my journal. For wanting to know my thoughts. For liking my family. Thankyou also for being so hot. For being so smart. For understanding how much I need you. For so much more that I can't think of. Thankyou. Lydia_Sorrow --------------------------------------------------------------- I also drew some random scribbles that I also can't remember doing. --------------------------------------------------------------- I am GUILTY X4 Seb (cut) Will (stress) Paul (raven) Matt (crying) DEAD INSIDE... ...NOTHING TO HIDE --------------------------------------------------------------- That's all I found. Don't remember any of it...sorry if I've offended anyone. I didn't know I was writing it...and I think some of it needed to be said so...yeah. ToG (Comment on this)
Sunday, March 6th, 2005
5:35 pm	Okay. I dont know...Im so confused I could cry. Seb. Hes my rock right now...but hes not here. That thought. On the bench. Today. He never came. I'll cling to Will. My saviour. Just what I needed. Don't get me wrong. While Seb isn't here I need someone to keep me going. Will...he allowed me to do the greatest things. I felt so alive. I'll keep what he gave me...(that was so hardcore) I'll keep it close to me at all times. Damn I forgot to give him something. He'll be over here in the week. I'll give him it then. I can't write everything in here. I'm going to get a new B.O.S. I'll write it all in there. Here the walls have ears. Somethings I cannot tell. (Comment on this)
12:07 am	Here's a comment I left on PAUL's profile just now. "Wow, the cinema was randomly spiffy. Exept when a bald guy came over and was all "We're trying to watch the movie so shut up!" Cause I was like "I can't see the movie go away." even though I didnt even say that but it was implied by the way I just sat there in silence. I wonder what the longest comment on a profile ever was? Shall I try to make it? Okay. Well, it was kinda fun stalking Frankie because everyone knows I've fancied his brother since year nine and when he showed up I was like OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!! Then I ate that fortune cookie which made me feel really really weird and I was kinda dizzy and I think there were drugs in the cookie. Stupid chinese food. Then we met Will and I was like :O cause he was so cute I just wanted to squeeze him all day long (plus I poked you on the cheek and you were better than James) But Will was all cutesome and huggable and then he wanted to hug me and I was nervous but then I just let him hug me anyway. It was warm ^_^. The bus station was so cool, we need to take AIMEE there on saturday. And on monday we better not forget to rape rachel. Its important. Even though me and chloe forgot to rape you. I saw you two in the cinema...getting a bit close were you? *jealous* Anywho...my hand is a little tired...I'll keep going anyway. So when Will was being a werewolf it turned me on way more than it should have. That film had the stupidest ending ever. I could write a WAY better ending...if you helped. I wanted to find the guy with the rad shoes to tell him he had rad shoes but he walked off and then you two wouldnt shut up about Tadwhich made me all sad cause I dont like him. Gonna go now. Why aren't you on MSN? ~Peace, love, honour and justice~ XxXxX Lydia XxXxX" Aren't I great? (Comment on this)
Friday, March 4th, 2005
5:59 pm	---------- GOD WHY WOULDNT HE HUG ME????? I MEAN ITS JUST A SIMPLE REQUEST! HE HUGGED ME THREE TIMES BEFORE WHEN ADAM DUMPED ME!! *bangs head on keyboard* hnjuyyuhtgyty6yu *ouch* >.< I NEEDED A GOD DAMN HUG! ------------------------------------------------------- Anywho...just wanted to spam up my journal and no one can tell me off cause it's MY journal. Why does Graeme keep reading my journal, god that is so sad. Jake said the funniest thing about him today and Paul and me and Petar had a big laugh when I showed them the conversations from him I saved. HAHAHAHAHA! I bet he's crying now. ------------------------------------------------------- SPAM UP YOUR JOURNAL ITS FUNNY CAUSE EVERYONE STILL READS IT EVEN THOUGH ITS CRAP! ------------------------------------------------------- My school was on fire today. I was like...standing in the playground all: OMFG DAT IS LYK TEH ROXORS!!!!!!!11111111111###### ------------------------------------------------------- I finished my meadia studies project on London After Midnight today. I'm listening to them now...two people let me down on that project. *points at Seb and log* ------------------------------------------------------- Saw Heva on the way to the playgound in the fire bell thing. *sexes her up* ((why does Polly hate me? Im seriously REALLY paranoid now)) ------------------------------------------------------- Anyways, love you all. ~insert hippy bollocks here~ XxXxX Lydia XxXxX Mood:NoT hYpEr At AlL, hOw GaY iS tHiS wRiTiNg? Music:Shatter (all my dead friends) by LAM Current Mood: flirty Current Music: HATE! by LAM (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 1st, 2005
4:54 pm	SUGAR!!! 25 days until I see my beautiful gothic prince again. I met this guy today who REALLY reminded me of him. He speaks dutch and everything! I was like :'( I am so much better at media studies than anyone in my stupid school. It's cause I'm so rad. AIMEE! I was talking to her in art as usual and we said we should get Paul sometime and hang out. Maybe this weekend and then she called me 'Spiffy rad girl!' I was like :O......I'm addicted to smilies, I even make my own on MSN. Ooo, a sexy biatch added me on Yahoo today. LOL @ Lesly! I'm still hyper from last night! Too much sugar. I was so amazingly tired this morning...I almost didn't use any of my words. I don't just say spiffy or rad you know. I also say coolix, coolies, nifty and neato. I really love Seb...like really really...like I've never loved anyone before in my whole entire life. Not even Tom. I wish I could be with him forever... ~Peace, love, honour and justice~ (freedom too) XxXxX Lydia XxXxX Current Mood: thankful (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, February 24th, 2005
3:43 pm	How to make a Lydia Sorrow Ingredients: 5 parts jealousy 3 parts ambition 1 part beauty Method: Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Serve with a slice of curiosity and a pinch of salt. Yum! Username: Personality cocktail From Go-Quiz.com (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 22nd, 2005
4:02 pm	er... Jason was being the usual last night. Saying things like "You know I can't keep away form you." and "You're so much better than Gemma." He knows for a fact that I was on the rebound when I went out of him. He knows he has no chance, because you only get two chances with me. Did you know Graeme cheated on me? Why didn't I just dump him then? That was before he did the other things he shouldn't have as well. I've been missing Seb so badly today. Playing 'Lovesong' by 'The Cure' constantly... "whenever I'm alone with you you make me feel like i am home again whenever i'm alone with you you make me feel like i am whole again whenever i'm alone with you you make me feel like i am young again whenever i'm alone with you you make me feel like i am fun again however far away i will always love you however long i stay i will always love you whatever words i say i will always love you i will always love you whenever i'm alone with you you make me feel like i am free again whenever i'm alone with you you make me feel like i am clean again however far away i will always love you however long i stay i will always love you whatever words i say i will always love you i will always love you" I remember how sad he looked the last time we talked, the last time we touched and the last time we were real. Just before he got on that bus. I havn't felt alive since then. Every time I see him on webcam, I fall in love all over again. Tell me, if you really fancied your best friends boyfriend/girlfriend, would you tell your best friend? I wouldn't. It happened to me last night. I wish I was not alone. Jason says you'll come over tonight. Whatever. I got the nicest, most heart-breaking text message last night from Seb. I won't type it out on here, because it's not my place to. He might not want a load of strangers reading his private thoughts. I've had very romantic boyfriends before, but Seb beats them all so easily. The things he says are so obscurely charming. Yesterday he called me 'snuggle kitten' and it didn't make me want to throw up! I don't care what he calls me as long as he never goes away...leaves me alone...like big brother has. He hasn't seen my MSN name yet. Dan saw it and said "What's your name about? Crap, is that about me? What the fuck did I do?" I said "Relax, it's about Chris." For months and months he's seen me less and less and less. He used to come over at least 4 times a week. Now the only time I ever see him is about once a month when I accidentally bump into him for 5 minutes. I spoke to John quite a bit on MSN last night. I still care about him so much, but he was so easy to figure out. He seems so complex at first, but now I know how simple his mind is to understand. How can someone so beautiful hate themself so much? I've spoken to Jake a lot recently too. He makes me feel good. I'm so proud to have him in my family. Everyone should know Jake. It makes your life feel so much more complete. I feel a mixture of intense love that is in my heart and the tremendous sadness I feel over the top of it. The feeling of missing Seb gets stronger and stronger every day. The more I try not to think about it, the more I can't think about anything else. I used to talk to Petar on MSN for hours every night. Last night he said... Pete says: judy why are soo many girls not like u !! How sweet was that? I was so chuffed! I really feel like I can trust him with anything. Well I better go... XxXxX Lydia XxXxX (Comment on this)
Monday, February 21st, 2005
10:32 pm	This... ...is an e-mail I sent to David today. "Wish I had someone to talk to. I don't even know why I'm writing this to you of all people. You live so far away, there's nothing you can do to help anyway. *sigh* I would write to Jason becasuse he's online more than you are, but he seems so cold sometimes...I wish I knew how his mind worked. Just when I think I understand him...he changes. It feels like he doesn't really care about me much anymore. I try my hardest to be there for my friends, but where are they now? I sound so ungrateful. I mean, Emma and Jason both came round seperately and out of the blue today. I got some hugs today too. All day I've been thinking "This day just couldn't get any better!" That's what I hate about the morning being that good, it means the afternoon has no where to go but down. I'm scared...I don't know what of...this lonliness I think. I just wish I could handle everything the way everyone expects me too. (I know, whiney teenager) I want to write but the words disapear so fast, I want to draw but the colours in my mind are all wrong, I want to scream but there isn't any worth in it...so I won't. How could I be brought down so much by three things? 1) Something I thought of on my own and realised it was true. 2) something that I can't do anything about, but feel guilty for anyway. 3) Someone I care deeply about is upset. I don't know why you should care, but...I havn't sent this e-mail to anyone else. Just you. I miss you. I respect you so much...and I love you, of course." XxXxX Lydia XxXxX David is...a very close friend. I tell him everything when I get the chance. He's told me so much too. I trust him, he's like family of some kind...I've known him so long now. I wonder why I build relationships with people so fast...some people I trust so easily...some I never give a chance. I'm gonna go now, my eyes are stinging... ToG loves you. XxXxX Lydia XxXxX Current Mood: confused (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 16th, 2005
7:13 pm	Well, well, well... I've been with Seb a while now. He's so awesome. I was so obsessed with him since I first saw his posts on MMDN. It was like "wow, this guy is super cool....and super hot!" Thia is the first post I made about him: "nervine- Intelligence, beauty and humor - how can most of the other guys on the site compete? Seriously, i'd love to talk more with you. You always have a worthwhile comment to add and I definitely value your presence here at MMDN." I'll probs see him again in about 39 days...hopefully. Isn't he cute? ^_^ When we picked him up I remember turning round in the car and seeing him in real life for the first time. I turned back straight away. I was just thinking "oh my god oh my god oh my god" over and over. I couldn't believe how gorgeous he was. Then all the way to my dads house I was talking to my mum about the most random crap, because I was so nervous. Then at my dads when I was walking behind him I was thinking how striking he was against the moonlight. Then he had a cigarette outside and I said he could have it in the house. Then I saw him for the first time in the light at my dads and...well to be honest I went upstairs for a minute to catch my breath, lol. Then I remember when we were first in my bedroom and it was all quiet and he gave me that beautifully sad painting that's now on my altar. We talked and put music on (this was to become the thing we did the most) and we sat closer and closer together until we were touching. It was amazing the way he layed his hands on my cheeks, on my hands and my face. I'll never forget that feeling. Well, after a few days I broke up with Graeme. I remember Seb saying my room looked creepy without his contacts in when he woke up, lol. We went to see The Aviator at the cinema and we got caught in a wet town centre afterwards. I was in one of my random philosophy moods and started saying all this stupid crap about how people are all so similar and what happens if you break the chain of society and bollocks like that. Well I better rap it up for now. ToG loves you XxXxX Lydia XxXxX (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 25th, 2005
1:10 pm	Jason smartest Natalie preppiest John peppiest Chrissy most hyper Dom hottest Graeme weirdest Dom biggest pervert Jason most annyoing Jason shyest Kevin C most religious Dom do you believe in heaven no hell no angels yes devil no god no buddha no aliens yes ghosts yes spirit (soul) yes soulmates yes reincarnation yes love at first sight yes karma yes love in general yes luck yes yourself no crush who and when was your first crush playschool, karl island any now yes a celebrity crush tom delonge who do you want to be with right now chris whos number do you want er........*shrug*.....mike's who do you want to kiss dunno what is something you dont understand about the opposite sex the general sports thing if you could go on a date with anybody, who would it be dunno on scale of one to ten, how romantic are you 8 first thing noticed about the opposite sex clothes what do you look for personality-wise funny, smart and nice biggest turn on nice hands biggest turn off body hair something thay weat that turns you on fishnet gloves, goth stuff something they wear that turns you off stuff that isn't black..... the most romantic thing you want to happen to you dunno the most romantic thing that has happened to you dunno what do you wear on a coffee date whatever the hell I feel like is it right to flirt if you're taken er......i dunno is cyber cheating no are eyes the passegeway to the soul yes who would you like to take to the prom petar do you want to hug somebody right now yeah, chris do you know what an aphrodisiac is yes. describe mellow chilled out and relaxed. laid back. melancholy really sad and down, depressed, uncaring, kinda lonely and tradgic. the perfect date picnic in the graveyard the perfect mate dunno how m&m's are made fucked if i know why manhole covers are round cause manholes are round? one or the other coke/pepsi pepsi sprite/7-up 7-up boxers/briefs boxers gold/silver silver vanilla/chocolate vanilla flowers/candy flowers book/magazine book tv/radio tv glass half empty/half full empty democrat/republican NEITHER! colored pencils/markers both coffee/tea tea sun/moon moon day/night night hot/cold cold dog/cat cat button/zipper zipper cotton/feather pillow neither....... blue/purple purple plumber/trashman eww, neither jeans/shorts jeans long distance relationship/none LDR mechanical/regular pencil regular matt/ben ben that 70's show/simpsons simpsons kelso/eric eric donna/jackie donna bart/lisa bart romeo/juliet romeo romantic comedy/thriller thriller nsync/bsb neither peanut butter/jelly jelly waffles/pancakes pancakes letter/email both florida/california both pizza/burgers bizza hat/visor hat football/rugby neither iceskating/blading blading movie at home/in theater theater first thing you think of when you hear yellow red red lipstick heva socks shoes cowtipping funny moulin rouge sexy greenland iceland iceland ice harry potter crap red green blackberry rasberry rose tulip rooster hen taxes eugh! bill clinton gayyyyyyy whipped cream kinky george w. bush pillock lollipops yummy dreams yay love hate guys sex south park cartman boy bands crap pengiuns clive girls mmmmmm thong ewwwwww death life spoons spork! junk mail e-mail dairy cow panties thongs your father who art in heaven pizza toppings britney spears ears vitamin C are you happy yes sad yes religious no bitchy yes crazy yes messy yes mad yes slacker yes nerd yes bookworm yes jock no preppy no selfish yes giving yes obsessive yes violent no calm no peaceful no mellow yes eccentric yes caring yes untrustworthy yes loyal yes patriotic yes perverted yes colorful yes artistic yes miscellanoues what color is your jacket black do you shave yes where everywhere neccesary...... what color is your razor blue and white what size is your bed double what color crayon would you be purple what are the last four digits of you phone number 2444 feelings on abortion not for me but everyone has a right to that choice how lond does it take you to shower one hour + what does your screenname mean it's a character from my book thoughts on blonde pop stars in general can be hot but mostly I don't like them or thier music who so you trust the most dunno....mum is cussing a necessity in life no how about coffee no is the world screwed yes what something you cant live without love what time did you fall asleep dunno.........midnight? know what 69 means yes, hehehe how about 143 no........ can you live without a microwave yes what do think about death scary where and when do you want to be married dunno do you want to drop out of school no why is the sky blue it isn't what is a good trait about yourself i'm teh uberness what do you always think about love what is wrong with your school what is right with it? what is right with your school nothing..... how do you react to change i dont like it mostly do you talk to yourself yes what is your opinion on love yayness can you afford to lose weight YES!!! what color would you dye your hair it is dyed......black....... best thing anyones told you I love you what is your reaction to someone telling you you're hot you lieeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!! does being psycho appeal to you yes if you wrote a book, what would it be about i am writing a book.......you can fucking buy it and find out, ok? what would you change your name to Lydia Sorrow longest crush lasted how long about......6 years.... tme finished 13:06 Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink! 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1:08 pm	<td Ultimate Survey (377 questions long) Created by illusen and taken 15374 times on bzoink! time started 12:28 full name judy buckingham nickname(s) ToG, lydia, jude birthday 1 april where were you born kent zodiac sign aries height 5 feet 8 or 9 weight dunno hair color black eye color green shoe size 5-6 1/2 ring size o i think skin type (freckles, tan, albino, etc.) really pale, no freckles blood type dunno grade year 11 GPA dunno siblings older bro, younger bro tattoos no piercings ears hobbies reading, music, drawing, writing etc. favorite color purple food dunno candy chewy stuff type of cheese cheddar pizza topping cheese and tomato salad dressing nothing sandwich dunno cereal shreddies fruit tomato vegetable carrot berry strawberry cake doughnut book odd thomas by dean koontz movie dunno magazine kerrang newspaper dunno tv show dunno website MMDN radio station my own on launchcast font black chancery cartoon character dunno artist (painter) dunno actor dunno actress haile berry cd dunno song dunno music group blink 182 music type all rock, ska, metal and punk stuff day of the week saturday month ferbruary season winter holiday halloween shampoo dunno conditioner dunno number 16 phrase "wtf" store the black rose or cyberdog weather rain or snow restaurant dunno channel dunno teacher mr braitheweite, mr shaid, mr stevens and mr moore weekend activity sleeping hangout graveyard house color white sport to watch skating sport to play dunno animal Ocelot. Look it up. flower lily guy's name Damien girl's name Lydia board game dunno party game truth or dare story from childhood dunno body part hands have you ever been on a train yes been on a plane no been in a car accident yes caused a car accident no run into a wall dunno burned a potato chip dunno almost burned the house down yes smoked yes been drunk dunno been high no broken the law yes burned a cd (if yes, the one above is yes) no kissed someone of the opposite sex yes kissed someone of the same sex yes frenched an animal nooooooo made out yes had cyber sex yes gotten engaged yes had an online relationship yes been rejected by a crush yes loved yes made yourself cry to get out of trouble probs cried in public probs cried over a movie yes fallen asleep in a movie theater no given someone a bath no been to a boarding school no been home-schooled no lost a valuable item probs bungee jumped no skied no met the president no met a celebrity probs gotten a cavity no shopped at abercrombie & fitch no made a prank call ish skipped school yes faked sick to get out of school yes purchased something that you knew didn't fit dunno climbed a tree yes fallen from a tree .er...dunno broken a bone yes sprained anything yes passed out yes made yourself pass out yes been to disney world no been to a theme park (not disney) yes said i love you and meant it (not to a relative) yes made a model volcano (working model) no made a clover leaf with your tounge no past what did you do yesterday went shopping, watched a movie..... memory you miss the most talking with tom memory you want to forget my dad something you regretted after it was done kissing Jay the last song you heard dunno cd you bought bowling for soup thing you said dunno time you cried yesterday movie seen in a theater ladder 49 thing you ate ice cream person who called mum nail polish shade worn black time you showered fuck knows...friday? person who complimented you graeme.....i assume at this moment what are you listening to nothing what are you wearing black bondage trousers and a cyberdog shirt what are you thinking im hungry what are you scared of most the end of the world how many people are on your buddy list i dunno.......80 odd?....i dunno... future occupation dunno marriage site dunno honeymoon tokyo place to live harajuku, tokyo kids 3 car BMW what are you doing tomorrow dunno do you think george bush will be reelected no will there be a wwIII yes will politics ever be truthful no will humanity snuff itself out yes can the gov. be changed possibly friends best friend Graeme funniest John silliest John loudest Heva quietest Kevin C craziest Dom calmest Kevin C skinniest *thinks* Seb, John, Chris, Natalie, Heva, Adam.......I'm going with....John. best secret keeper Mum worst secret keeper Emma the one you have but don't want (Comment on this)
12:23 pm	Really Long Survey (over 200) Created by starsbleed2nite and taken 63456 times on bzoink! What is your name? Judy buckingham Are you named after anyone? Private Judy Benjiman What's your screename? Lydia_Sorrow Would you name a child of yours after you? no If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be? Michael If you could switch names with a friend who would it be? Aimee Are there any mispronounciations/typos that ppl do w/ your name constantly? Judith, Jodie, Jody, Judie Would you drop your last name if you became famous? no Basics Your gender: female Straight/Gay/Bi: bravely bisexual Single? no If not, do you want to be? no Birthdate: 1 april 1989 Your age: 15 Age you act: 5 Age you wish you were: 18 Your height: 5 feet 8 or 9 Eye color: green Happy with it? yes Hair color: black Happy with it? yes Lefty/righty/ambidextrous: righty Your living arrangement: mum, me, lil bro and mums bf Your family: mum, me, lil bro, big bro Have any pets? yes Whats your job? annoyance, hellraiser Piercings? ears Tattoos? no Obsessions? many Addictions? SI Do you speak another language? i dabble Have a favorite quote? no Do you have a webpage? not really Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it Do you live in the moment? yes Do you consider yourself tolerant of others? yes Do you have any secrets? yes Do you hate yourself? very much so Do you like your handwriting? s'ok Do you have any bad habits? dunno What is the compliment you get from most people? you can sing/you're so beautiful >( eck! liars! If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called? Last words from the kitten What's your biggest fear? the end of the world Can you sing? ppl say i can Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool? er.....i dunno Are you a loner? a bit What are your #1 priorities in life? make others happy If you were another person, would you be friends with you? er....probs Are you a daredevil? yes Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself? i fear hurting others and myself, i hate everything Are you passive or agressive? passive Do you have a journal? yes What is your greatest strength and weakness? i give in easy to make other happy but im determined If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? my scars Do you think you are emotionally strong? yes Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life? no Do you think life has been good so far? s'ok What is the most important lesson you've learned from life? just let it happen What do you like the most about your body? er.....um...*bangs head on desk*...my eyes And least? my scars Do you think you are good looking? no Are you confident? sometimes no, sometimes extremely What is the fictional character you are most like? Lydia Sorrow Are you perceived wrongly? yes Do You... Smoke? no Do drugs? no Read the newspaper? sometimes Pray? no Go to church? no Talk to strangers who IM you? sometimes Sleep with stuffed animals? sometimes a bear Take walks in the rain? sometimes Talk to people even though you hate them? sometimes Drive? no Like to drive fast? i would like to Would or Have You Ever? Liked your voice? yes Hurt yourself? yes Been out of the country? yes Eaten something that made other people sick? dunno Been in love? yes Done drugs? no Gone skinny dipping? no Had a medical emergency? yes Had surgery? yes Ran away from home? yes Played strip poker? no Gotten beaten up? yes Beaten someone up? no....... Been picked on? yes Been on stage? yes Slept outdoors? yes Thought about suicide? yes Pulled an all nighter? yes If yes, what is your record? 50 odd hours Gone one day without food? yes Talked on the phone all night? yes Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex? yes Slept all day? yes Killed someone? no Made out with a stranger? no Had sex with a stranger? no Thought you're going crazy? yes Kissed the same sex? yes Done anything sexual with the same sex? yes Been betrayed? yes Had a dream that came true? yes Broken the law? yes Met a famous person? yes Have you ever killed an animal by accident? i dunno...i dont think so On purpose? no Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell? probs Stolen anything? yes Been on radio/tv? er...no Been in a mosh-pit? yes Had a nervous breakdown? i dunno Bungee jumped? no Had a dream that kept coming back? i dunno Beliefs Belive in life on other planets? yes Miracles? yes Astrology? i guess Magic? no. Magick however, yes. God? no Satan? no Santa? no Ghosts? yes Luck? yes Love at first sight? yes Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)? yes Witches? yes Easter bunny? no Believe its possible to remain faithful forever? yes Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow? no Do you wish on stars? sometimes Deep Theological Questions Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell? no Do you think God has a gender? no Do you believe in organized religion? no Where do you think we go when we die? i dunno Friends Do you have any gay/lesbian friends? yes Who is your best friend? i dunno...probs graeme Who's the one person that knows most about you? my mum What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you? dunno Your favourite inside joke? too many! probs "cheeseburger!" or "im being stealthy!" Thing you're picked on most about? my weight/being a goth Who's your longest known friend? dunno Newest? dunno Shyest? Kevin C Funniest? John M Sweetest? Graeme Closest? dunno Weirdest? Dom Smartest? Natalie Ditziest? ChrissyBunny Friends you miss being close to the most? Kort/Sixx Last person you talked to online? Sebastiaan Who do you talk to most online? Sebastiaan Who are you on the phone with most? Graeme Who do you trust most? Mum Who listens to your problems? mum Who do you fight most with? dunno Who's the nicest? Rob T Who's the most outgoing? Jake F Who's the best singer? Natalie G Who's on your shit-list? Jason Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend? yes Who's your second family? phil, chris, genny, jake, will and rob. Do you always feel understood? no Who's the loudest friend? Dom Do you trust others easily? no Who's house were you last at? graeme's Name one person who's arms you feel safe in: chrissy Do your friends know you? some Friend that lives farthest away: Probably wolfie Love and All That Do you consider love a mistake? no What do you find romantic? flowers, candles... Turn-on? lip ring Turn-off? body hair First kiss? Jay If someone u had no interest in had interest in dating u how would u feel? "not another one! I'm flattered though." Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going yes Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out no Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractiv yes Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking? erm....no What is best about the opposite sex? i dunno What is the worst thing about the opposite sex? i dunno What's the last present someone gave you? er.....i dunno Are you in love? yes Do you consider your significant other hot? yes! Who Was the Last Person... That haunted you? tom You wanted to kill? hayley That you laughed at? graeme That laughed at you? graeme That turned you on? alexander kapranos You went shopping with? graeme and his mum That broke your heart? adam To disappoint you? sebastiaan To ask you out? jason To make you cry? graeme To brighten up your day? (night) alexander kapranos That you thought about? alexander kapranos You saw a movie with? graeme You talked to on the phone? mum You talked to through IM/ICQ? sebastiaan You saw? graeme's mum You lost? great uncle steve Right This Moment... Are you going out? no Will it be with your significant other? no Or some random person? no What are you wearing right now? a pair of purple and black stripey socks, a ska sock, a skull sock, a cyberdog shirt and some black baggys with bondage straps and stuff on them Body part you're touching right now: my hand is resting on my leg What are you worried about right now? my head REALLY REALLY REALLY hurts and so does my back as usual....plus....other stuff.... What book are you reading? fear nothing by dean koontz What's on your mousepad? my one at home has a kitten on a mini deckchair. this one is plain black. Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling: ouch, pain, hurt, eck, bleugh. Are you bored? yes Are you tired? a little Are you talking to anyone online? no Are you talking to anyone on the phone? no Are you lonely or content? lonely Are you listening to music? no Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink! (Comment on this)
11:50 am	The Survey Where You Say The First Word That Comes To Mind. Yay. Created by -ambiguous and taken 42964 times on bzoink! What comes to mind when you hear.. ..snow? ..rain? storm ..tornado? thunder ..summer love? grease ..Jon? brother ..Mike? shinoda ..Shea? class ..banana? boat ..dizzy? head ..Laura? Dom ..Juan? What? ..car? BMW ..white? black ..peppermint? mmmmmmm ..New Found Glory? yay ..placebo? sex ..orange juice? potato ..candid camera? funny ..sister? hood ..brother? john ..hate? life ..school? sucks ..President? clinton ..football? season ..rap? scallion ..pop? crap ..rock? and roll ..punk? rock ..sex? marridge ..death? life ..baby? Aniqah ..duuude? wheres my car? ..the end? the beginning Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink! (Comment on this)
11:44 am	The Perfect Guy Created by madhatter and taken 10060 times on bzoink! Hair color? Black Eye color? green Height? 6 foot Six pack? no Long hair or short? shortish, floppy, falling over his face. Glasses? no Piercings? silver lipring Eyebrows? yes please. black. Big butt or little? not bothered...somewhere in between. Chest hair? NO Buff or skinny? skinny but with some upper arm strength Teeth? er...yeah. all white a prettyful. Section 2 Funny or serious? knows when to be funny and when to be serious. Party-hopper or more stay-at-home? likes to party but doesn't mind staying at home at all. Should he be able to bake or cook? he can make a couple of things...easy things. Does he have a best friend? yeah! a really nice guy, kinda quiet though. Is it okay for him to have a lot of female friends? not tonnes, but some is fine. Out-going or shy? sometimes acts shy and it's very cute but he's not afraid of doing crazy things. Sarcastic or sincere? sincere but makes sarcy comments about things sometimes. Does he love his mother? yes. Should he watch chick-flicks? no, they bore me. Would he be a smoker? no. preferably straight-edge. How about a drinking? no. preferably straight-edge, but he can drink if he wants. It doesn't bother me. And swearing? oh he can swear with the best of them but not at me and not the word cunt cause I don't like it. Would he play with your hair? a little...sometimes... Would he have more than one girlfriend at a time? NO! Would he pay for you when you're on a date? no, we'd do things equally. Does he kiss on the first date? he sure does. Where would you go for dinner? a picnic in the graveyard. Would he buy you flowers? lillies......white ones...... Would he lay under the stars with you and spout random philosophies? oh yeah, just like I do. Would he write poetry about you? yes. Would he use endearments? sometimes. Would he hang out with your and YOUR friends? yes. How about you hanging out with him and HIS friends? scary...but I could be talked into it. Would he walk you up to the door at the end of the evening? *sigh* yeah. Would you hold hands? yayness. yes. Section 3 Does he play soccer? no. Baseball? no. Football? no. Basketball? no. Water polo? no. Golf or something equally boring? no. Does he surf? no Skateboard? no Snowboard? no Can he sing? yes. Play the guitar? yes Play piano? yes Play the drums? yes Can he keep his room clean? yeah! but not too clean...just tidyish. Is he an artist of sorts? oh yes. Does he write his own music? yeah. Does he have pets? yep. Section 4 Does he use the word dude? not very often. How about tight? no. Would he watch the sun rise and set with you? if i wanted to. What kind of car does he drive? whatever he wants, he's not afraid to accept what he's got and like it. How old is he? no more than 2 years younger and no more than 4 years older. What's his name? something gothic and mysterious like Zavier or Seth.....or just a nice name like Tom or Daniel or Michael... Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink! (Comment on this)